Life on 9/12/2012 at 21:30h

I am lying in bed and was reading my posts from day 72 till this afternoon's.

It is wrong for me to gripe.

As Cruelty said to me, my Coach bags are an indulgence, so are my numerous heels and shoes and my expensive dresses. What I miss most about my life before is not having to think so hard about spending money.

Cruelty has to be firm with me, for she is my mother.

It is so true. I am able to save money for the house we are buying, still pay for housing expenses here and buy a doughnut when I wish.

I just don't shop - that is an indulgence.

I guess this is a lesson in time for me; prudence with money. It's not an easy lesson - not when I'm wondering why I am not hired for a better paying job when I am obviously qualified.

Perhaps it is as my manager said, 'Maybe God wants you to stay here and help me some more.'

I believe God has a plan for me, I may not know what He wants me to do in the pharmacy but when I have completed it, I know He will move me.

I also need to break away from the stereotype that I MUST teach. Maybe this is my chance to teach differently. Or NOT teach.

Nonetheless, these are the things I've learnt to do because I'm not teaching:
1. Shrink wrap gift sets
2. Transfer stock from store to store
3. Dispense prescription only medication
4. Log on to and fill in forms from national diabetes, addictive drugs record, use x calculator, project stop, s3 recordable drugs
5. Security tag and put away stock
6. Identify over the counter medication and local brands
7. Look up products in the store system and locate them using the plannograms
8. Accounts
9. Print labels and signs for the bays and gondolas
10. Compose slogans for the store.

It's all great fun! Praise God.

Life on 19/12/2012 at 12:29pm

I haven't been writing much.
It's just that I really don't have much to update.

I receive a lot of rejection letters from the schools I apply to; honestly, it makes me question myself. I have a great résumé yet no school wants to hire me - not even for school librarian or program coordinator.

I haven't bought a Coach bag in months. I haven't shopped for clothes. I did buy shoes but for work. What is happening?

Sometimes I wonder if I should come back to Singapore to work.
Then at other times, I think of our mortgage repayments that are to start. And I also think how at least God has provided a job for me at the pharmacy - and I enjoy it! And how I should be patient.

But today, just today, my heart feels it can only take so much rejection and the feeling of inadequacy.

God, strengthen me because I am nothing without You.

Sometimes, some times are unforgettable

Somewhere Out There

written by James Horner, Barry Mann, Cynthia Weil

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true
.…

Whenever I let the dog out to take a pee, and I stand under the star filled banner of the night sky, I always think of home - my family and friends and pets who are no doubt under this same sky.

And I miss home.

Speedily, go slow to avoid collision

I received great news today!

Today I received my teacher registration in the mail! Praise God! I can officially seek employment in schools.

So now, the question is - which school?

I want to stand in the gap.
I want to meet God where He is - to be where He wants me to be so He can use me.

Everything has been moving speedily - my job at the pharmacy, WACOT registration that took much less time than expected. It is a collision path if I don't take time to really pray over where I am to be.

I am considering teaching at ALTA-1 :
http://www.alta-1.com.au/education
I don't want to take something easy because it's there. I want to stand In the gap and avail myself.

Pray for me.

I write by hand...

The hubs was telling me that one of the ways to increase intelligence is to write anything by hand - letters, a diary, notes.

I've always enjoyed penning things down. I guess in this sense, writing letters and cards, before when I kept diaries, it comes naturally to me. And in some ways, being apart from my SG home gives me so many chances to write letters and post them. I like it.

Work this week is way better. I memorised the brands and the plannograms - where they are placed on the shelves. So now, I take about half the time to locate an otherwise unknown coloured foreign branded box. I even enjoy the distanced small talk with customers - and you know how I dislike small talk! I try to take an interest in what they need, address them by their last name and in so doing, I am able to get more people to leave their scripts with us and sign up for the SMS service in the 5 days I've worked than they've had in a fortnight.

I start my day praying for the company, my manager and colleagues and also for myself - that I will be a blessing to those I meet. I thank God for His providence in the income and pray that He will use me to be an extension of His love. I believe that my success at increasing the subscribers is God's faithfulness.

Praise God that even when we are faithless, He is faithful.

Today, I rest and am looking forward to just chilling out!

XOXO

The unimaginable..

I have started to realise that I can do the unimaginable when I have no choice.

Today I spent an hour cleaning dirt and grit caked blinds. Why? Well, I was bored, and having mopped the house and bathed the dog yesterday, I decided to tackle the blinds today.

I've also run out of paperbacks to read. The most recent one I completed reading is "Old Dogs". It's a really funny tale about several different groups of people attempting a heist and unwittingly getting into each other's way. I bought it on the cheap for AUD4.50, and I found 4 mistakes in it.

In spite of my aversion to touching raw meat, I've had little choice but to scale and cook salmon and oats. How I miss my mummy! And despite having pounded the large traditional oats into smaller pieces, my porridge never quite turns out the same as Mummy's.

It's funny isn't it - how girls grow into women but still call their parents 'Daddy and Mummy', whereas most boys grow into men and change that to 'Dad and Mum', if not the occasional grunt.

If you're wondering why I don't just take the car out and go shopping, that's because today the hubs has the car. Funny thing is, he's onsite today and parked the car at his boss'. Ah well, I don't need the hassle of parking today.

A car for freedom...

I do not own a car...yet.
I do not have a mortgage...yet.
I do not have to pay for insurance...yet.

But a car means freedom and I am looking forward to it immensely. This week, I drove B to the doctor to have his chest infection checked out. He was in driving condition but sweetly permitted me to drive the 4 -5 minute drive to the medical centre. I like being behind the wheel and not having 10 drivers eyeing my lot means I have the chance to actually park at my own time.

Not that I have actually parked yet aside for the straight ahead parallel parking I did at church the other Sunday.

At the medical centre, there is no need to park within painted boxes because there are none. The 6 - 8 car "parking lot" is gravel on both sides of the road. All I had to do was make a left into the road and a full left to swing into the gravel spot.

Nice.

We are still location shopping, having no money to house shop yet. Exactly how far away from the parents is a good location, or how near? There are no answers as of now.

We are exploring the idea of a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom home on a minimum 600sqm land and then build a small granny flat extension to the side of the house for visitors who will have their own private accommodation.

Still, these are just ideas.

Women put on make up for women

Today is laundry day. I love this picture simply because it sums up very nicely my day and it hasn't been photoshopped in any way. The sky is this beautiful and the weather is sunny - Spring has sprung!

I trimmed and plucked my eyebrows, and I realised that it is a grave misconception that women dress up for men. No. Women dress up for other women.

Like most men, my husband is the last person who would notice that my eyebrows are neatened, much less that the errant hair has been plucked. And if he does compliment me on my eyebrows this evening, I'd know he has been following my posts.

So, why do I keep my eyebrows neat? Simply because I have to be seen in public, by other women, and I would notice if a woman thought it okay to leave the house without so much as an effort to look presentable. I am just not one of those women who are blessed with naturally shaped and neat eyebrows, and if you are - I envy you.

I dress up for my husband but it only goes as far as wearing his favourite colour or preferred style. But when I choose my shoes, that's for the women.

Simply because, we would notice when someone walks by in a great pair of shoes.

On a side note, because she's reading - HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY DARLING COUSIN!!

.day 72.

It is day 72. 13 days since I left Singapore for a second time in 5 weeks.

I am still jobless.
But I have revelations, and plans.

I plan to:
1) Try my hand at baking from home, hopefully with a little advertising from family.
2) Give ribbonwork a real go and possibly try to ribbon flowers on t-shirts.

I figure that there must be a reason for this season of rest. I originally endeavoured to fill my days with activities because I was sold on the idea that I'd be bored in Perth - the place where people come to retire and die, or live way pass 100. So, I tried my best - I filled my days with gardening and grocery shopping and for the first couple of days, lots of laundry and sun-catching.

Still, with WACOT sitting on my registration for PRT, waiting on my IELTS test which is only on 13 Oct, results released 2 weeks from then, I have come to realise that maybe I need to take this period of rest to regroup, replan and re-evaluate my future.

Daddy told me in 2009 that I didn't have to run helter-skelter and look for love with blind dates set up by well meaning aunts. His daughters didn't have to do that; just trust in God's plan, and the intended beloved will come to us. In service yesterday, I realised that that is indeed God's message to me too. He has a plan and I need only to trust Him to deliver on His promises. I need not run helter-skelter.

And so, this is my new plan.
To stand still.
Psalm 46:10 - 'Be still, and know that I am God.'