Life on 9/12/2012 at 21:30h

I am lying in bed and was reading my posts from day 72 till this afternoon's.

It is wrong for me to gripe.

As Cruelty said to me, my Coach bags are an indulgence, so are my numerous heels and shoes and my expensive dresses. What I miss most about my life before is not having to think so hard about spending money.

Cruelty has to be firm with me, for she is my mother.

It is so true. I am able to save money for the house we are buying, still pay for housing expenses here and buy a doughnut when I wish.

I just don't shop - that is an indulgence.

I guess this is a lesson in time for me; prudence with money. It's not an easy lesson - not when I'm wondering why I am not hired for a better paying job when I am obviously qualified.

Perhaps it is as my manager said, 'Maybe God wants you to stay here and help me some more.'

I believe God has a plan for me, I may not know what He wants me to do in the pharmacy but when I have completed it, I know He will move me.

I also need to break away from the stereotype that I MUST teach. Maybe this is my chance to teach differently. Or NOT teach.

Nonetheless, these are the things I've learnt to do because I'm not teaching:
1. Shrink wrap gift sets
2. Transfer stock from store to store
3. Dispense prescription only medication
4. Log on to and fill in forms from national diabetes, addictive drugs record, use x calculator, project stop, s3 recordable drugs
5. Security tag and put away stock
6. Identify over the counter medication and local brands
7. Look up products in the store system and locate them using the plannograms
8. Accounts
9. Print labels and signs for the bays and gondolas
10. Compose slogans for the store.

It's all great fun! Praise God.

Life on 19/12/2012 at 12:29pm

I haven't been writing much.
It's just that I really don't have much to update.

I receive a lot of rejection letters from the schools I apply to; honestly, it makes me question myself. I have a great résumé yet no school wants to hire me - not even for school librarian or program coordinator.

I haven't bought a Coach bag in months. I haven't shopped for clothes. I did buy shoes but for work. What is happening?

Sometimes I wonder if I should come back to Singapore to work.
Then at other times, I think of our mortgage repayments that are to start. And I also think how at least God has provided a job for me at the pharmacy - and I enjoy it! And how I should be patient.

But today, just today, my heart feels it can only take so much rejection and the feeling of inadequacy.

God, strengthen me because I am nothing without You.